Terrorist threat to infiltrate the Globe with explosive facts, foiled by FBI

Al-Globra latest threat
Part of growing empirical radicalism sect

STRAIGHT GOODS

Dateline: Tuesday, January 19, 2010
 
Al-Globra latest threat
'There are three sides to every triangle'.


A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to de-plane from a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Globra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

The man was believed to be part of terrorist plot to enter Canada from the US, and launch an attack on the ROB offices of the Globe and Mail in Toronto and rid them of their tax leakage dogma and burn the 18 pages of blacked out documents in effigy of people with no regard for truth or democracy, like all the journalists at the Globe and sister station BNN and CTV. It is believed the man was also planning an attack on the CBC and may be related to Kevin Page, Canada’s new Parliamentary Budget Officer, who is part of the broader Al-Globra movement of empirical radicalism that has taken hold of small aspects of Ottawa bureaucracy, against great odds.

'"Al-Globra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.

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What follows is an extremely graphic account from a survivor of Al-Globra indoctrination tactics. Reader discretion is advised.

Yes, I concur that this is a profound and dangerous form of terrorism. I was subjected to Al-Globra torture four times and barely survived. It was the repeated demands to "solve for 'x'" that nearly drove me irretrievably mad. I bear the invisible scars of the mental torture.

As they screamed "three sides... three sides... three sides to the triangle... Say it! Three sides" I kept trying to explain that there are really four sides to a triangle (three sides and the base). They accused me of being a fraction of the Plane Geometry movement, even as they demanded that I admit to "three sides"...

Send the Al-Globra practitioners to the International Criminal Court in The Hague for the inhumane treatment of student prisoners!!!